Eating is not a skill

OK, so be warned - this is a rant post. I know this and I don't give a shit.


I was never really a big believer in social convention, rules and etiquette, but there is a base level that is absolutely fundamental to me. Like holding a door open if someone is following you through it. Standing to offer a public transport seat to elderly, pregnant or disabled people, and so on. Even more fundamental than this: being able to eat using cutlery properly.
Last night, while enjoying a few beers and some food with my girlfriend at a long table in a basement bar in Prague, we were joined by a mixed group consisting of a Czech couple entertaining a Mexican girl and a Japanese girl. Being of a curious nature (sic: nosy) I was subtly observing them and listening in on snippets of their conversation.
The 2 visiting girls asked what typical Czech food they could order, and the couple suggested pickled sausages to the poor girls. That's jumping in at the deep end, I can tell you. But anyway, that's not what this post is about.
The Czech girl was sitting closest to me, and from the moment she started eating, she horrified me.

Doing it right.

First off, she was holding her fork like a left-handed person would hold a pen. Not only does this look retarded, but it made cutting her food an unnecessarily complicated operation. I watched with fascinated disbelief as she dumbly pushed her food around her plate, chasing it with her fork while trying to find purchase enough to hold it still and perform the necessay cuts.
Now I can understand that you may not react to this as I do, it could be quite personal to me. Granted.
What happened next, though, almost made me throw up a little in my mouth. While talking to the the visiting girls, she raised a slice of bread to her mouth and took a bite. Without removing the bread from said position, she chewed and swallowed, took another bite and repeated. Ew. Then she proceeded to SUCK the piece of bread. SUCK it. No biting, or chewing. What the FUCK?
So, I will end my rant there, as I am beginning to feel a little unwell again thinking about it.
Bon apetit.